Good things come to those who wait!

I have been doing some major praying for me and Patrick. We have had some really hard years and just needed God to bless us. It always seems as though we work so hard and get nowhere. I am really bad about trying to handle everything by myself and my stress level was getting out of control. It was physically taking a toll on me. I was humbly reminded that I am not in control, God is. I decided I can't worry and stress about things that are not in my control. God has a plan but I felt like I was getting in my own way. Once I let go and gave everything to God, things have slowly been falling into place. Who would have thought right?

Patrick got a big contract with a management company to maintain all their rental properties. This alone put our financial stress at ease. Things are looking really good for his business this year. Patrick needed that boost of confidence. It just seems that year after year he has been beat down to the point where he was ready to throw the towel in. He is such a hard worker and I'm glad his efforts are being rewarded. He deserves it.

We got our taxes done yesterday, just in the nick of time! Patrick and I had really been stressing over this as we had both 2008 and 2009 to do. :( Yes I know! I was praying we would get some money back but I was preparing myself that we would owe. I was very surprised when our accountant called and said "your getting money back". WOW! What a relief. We didn't care if it was a nickle, we were so excited that we didn't owe! Turns out we are getting a LOT back. :D Enough that we can do some things to the house that we just haven't had the extra money for! We will get a patio poured in the back (or a deck, we can't decide) and get the house painted. (it needs the paint B.A.D)

So with most of our financial worries put to ease the subject of BABY seems more within reach. I don't want to push too soon or get my hopes up, but I think Patrick will be okay with the idea now. :) I'm praying super hard for God to ease his mind and touch his heart.

Patrick and I are on cloud 9. I love my life and we are blessed. I thank God for his blessings and providing for us!

Baby Boom!

Why is it when you want something so bad that you see it everywhere? It's as if the universe is displaying it in your face mocking you.

I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that I'm ready for children. I've had the baby fever for well over a year now. My husband would rather wait a little longer. I just can't seem to get him on board 100%. We both want children, but what do you do when your spouse want's to wait and you want it like a year ago? It's been really hard.

It seems like everyday I get news of ANOTHER person announcing that their expecting. There are a ridiculous amount of prego's out there. I counted 15 people that I know. 15, really? Is this another baby boom? Maybe its the recession and couples don't have the money to go out and do things so they are staying in and finding OTHER things to do? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them all, but a part of me is jealous. I went through the same thing when P and I started talking about getting engaged. The moment I started wanting it everyone around me was getting engaged. I think I waited 2 years before he finally proposed.

P is a boy's boy. He is a man in every aspect. He is very old fashioned and see's himself as the "provider". I understand his reasoning for waiting a little longer but I feel he is waiting for something that may never come. I don't think anyone is REALLY ever "ready" for kids. If you wait for that "perfect time" you won't have any. I have talked him to death about the subject and I know better, I really do. The more I push the more he pulls away. I can't TELL him to do anything, he has to do it on his own accord. The trick with P is you have to make it seem like it's his idea. Maybe that's all men, I don't know. It's like with our engagement, he had this idea of how he wanted things to go, and me pushing the subject- when it was my idea- he wanted nothing to do with it. Once I stepped back and shut up about it the ball was placed in his court and he felt he had control and then it happened. So why can't I just drop it? I know I'm shooting myself in the foot here, but I really can't help it. He knows how important this is to me. He knows how badly I want this. I just have this burn inside me that I cant put out. I'm praying for patience and I know God has a plan for us, I'm just really struggling with this.

For Anna

Today my husband's cousin is going in for her double mastectomy. She is so young and this stirs up feelings from my own experiences.

I went to confession a couple weeks ago and Father Steiner said "God gives obsticals to the one's he loves the most. He doesn't give you anything you cannot handle and He does this because He loves us." He went on to say that if we look back Jesus always had a special place in his heart for the sick. He spent a lot of time with them, talking to them, healing them. God never cast them away he always brought them near and spent extra time with them. Father Steiner told me that we have sickness and disease because of sin. God suffered on the cross to forgive our sins and in our time of suffering, it's a time for us to be close to God.

I can't get that out of my head. I just felt like I needed to share that and pray.

God please be with Anna today. Give her strength, courage, and the grace to deal with this. Grant her peaceful sleep and be with her during her hours of silence. Make her ready for whatever it may be and give her a strong spirit. Be with her during her suffering and comfort her. Please be with the surgeons and guide their hands. Use them as your instrument. Watch over her and protect her. Be with our family and ease the worry. Bring peace in their hearts and remind them that you are in control.

Amen